My Rules To Relationships

1. Do not make out in stores, it's weird and gross.
2. PDA is nasty. Don't do it.
3. Don't be clingy!
4. If it is illegal don't do it.
5. Life is not a romantic comedy; don't kiss people in the rain: you'll get a cold.
6. You don't love somebody after a week, calm down.
7. Wait, Jesus, you'll still be fertile in 10 years.
8. If it's over it isn't the end of the world.
9. You don't love somebody after a month.
10. You are not god damn Romeo and Juliet, if your parents don't like him/ her it's okay.

Perfection

             I refuse to believe that I am not perfect. This is mostly due to the fact I believe that perfection is whatever you choose it to be. And if this is so, why the hell wouldn't I be perfect?! Sure, there are lots of things I would change about myself: my man voice, my height, my looks, and my intelligence. Isn't that what makes us human though? Imperfection makes perfection. (A paradox Ms. Hammons would be proud of.)
             I used to try to make myself seem more Italian then I am. Truth is I'm 2/3 Prussian and 1/3 Italian and anyway my family is more like "The Olive Garden Italian." These people are those Italians. So, you're welcome for that. As I've been in high school I've realized that I don't care what people what people have to say to me or think about me. I am my own person and I don't need someone who isn't my parents or my siblings trying to run my life. Give me a cat and and warm sweater and I'll be a happy camper.
            So, back to perfection, I believe that if people are willing to admit it to themselves they will see their own perfection. They will see what I see in myself: a person who knows what they've been through, knows what they want from their life and is pretty good with who they are. So yes, I am perfect. I challenge you to say why you're perfect because if you say you are, you are. So goodnight. My cat and I are going to chill and have some Silk Dark Chocolate Almond Milk (my favorite drink excluding Diet Coke). Bye now.

NaNoWriMo

               Even with swim season I'm going to attempt NaNoWriMo this year. I've been trying to do it  for the past two years but nothing has come of it. So here's a blog post about all of my dumb ideas that don't work, won't work, and make me cry at night.

- Buffy like drama but only she can see the monsters
-Girl falls in love with best friend, he goes into coma blah blah blah.
-short stories about a girl while she's drowning
-short stories about a musician gaining YouTube fame.
-two people falling in love but they fall in love in a cross-roading fashion

           Maybe one of these will work this year. Maybe it'll be okay, here's hoping. Sorry that this was short but I needed to talk about it with someone who wouldn't interject their ideas.

My Future Plan and How to Get One like It.

     I plan to live alone--or with a gay roomate preferably named Stefahn: do you know one? In my lonely apartment my cat, Barry Gibb, and I will have peace and quite because I will refuse to have parties or even small get togethers. Let it be known, however, that I am, in fact, a people person. I do not like people but when they are around I thrive. People are all that keep me from talking to myself in quite tones with varied inflection pretending to be different people. If Stefahn and I lived together I'm sure there'd be drunken parties and strange gay boys crying to me about their boy problems while I lament on mine as well every night. How would I get in my night-time car cries with people in my tiny apartment?!
      I also intend on not getting married. Men take effort and that's something that I will not be willing to put forth during my mad audition phase and my whinney I didn't get in phase. I'll leave the boys for Stefahn, maybe even for Barry Gibb: who am I to judge my cat's preferences? I know I will not make much money but the intention is for there to be enough for BeeGee and I to get along. I look forward to many weeks of Ramen noodles in my future, it's good that I love them. If I ever leave the apartment I'm sure it'll be to take Mr. BeeGee to the vet or myself to the ER. I know it's silly to see such a bleak future but I don't want to be that person who sees everything as shiny kittens and rainbow riding Celine Dion look-a-likes and then have all my hopes dashed. I prefer to see NYC as the cold place it will be, I'll be happy either way. Okay, so maybe if I met the real Celine it'd be better. Oh well, my heart will go on.

Yeah. That's Why.

     Today is "Wacky Wednesday"  which I take to mean "Would You Be My Friend if I Dressed like this Day." So, I dressed normally seeing as no one will be my friend anyway. All jokes aside, I have friends. FishCat counts.  Who is FishCat, you ask? Well, he is the best stuffed animal/ friend ever. He is very hard to explain: the only way I can see to explain him is part fish; part cat. Hence the name.  FishCat listens to my secrets and doesn't eat my food. Could I ask fo a better friend? Well, maybe I could but I feel like that may require effort.
      When I am alone, I talk to FishCat and when I'm feeling especially lonely he talks back. The other day we had a conversation wherein he implied that I needed to get out more. It's probably true, but here I am: inside. So when I look down and you ask what's wrong, now you know: FishCat was being a bitchy friend. Yeah. That's why. . .

Bye!

My Chem Teacher Must Think I Have ADD

            I love my Chemistry class, sure, I'm not that good at it but I have a really awesome teacher and a very nice class size. However, everyday when I walk in there the teacher sees me and thinks I am a ridiculous little kid, maybe I am. . . no, I definitely am. I wonder if it's the fact that I draw things to help me pay attention, i.e. average bears, or possibly it's the fact that I'm not ever normal when she sees me. Anytime she looks over at me I am sure to making a face, flailing, or threatening Lexi and Kristen with punches in the face. Okay, maybe it's all those things because what else screams ADD like face making, seizure-like movement, and violence? Nothing. I know I'm a crazy person but c'mon, I would give anything for this teacher to see me do one thing normally. Maybe I should just sit there one day but I bet she'll ask if something's wrong and I'll break down begging her not to hate me. That sounds like something I'd do. Oh well. I can't think of anymore to say which is sad because this has been shorter than an eighth grade formal dress. So good night my angels. I'm going to bed, you probably should too because you can burn calories while you sleep!!! Maybe I should watch Dance Moms. . .

Candles that Smell like Boys, The Plan for My Cat, and a Few Other Things.

             1. Candles that Smell like Boys:
                    I love it when boys smell good, therefore, I love it when things--such as candles--smell like boys.  I know it's weird, but I really love the musky and sweet smell of a guy so one day my sister-in-law bought an amazing boy smelling candle.  I walked into Jessica's room and was instantly hit  by the wonderful boy smell and nearly melted. I don't remember what the name was but I know it was a Yankee Candle and I don't know why I told you about this but whatever.

            2. The Plan for My Cat:
                     Like my older sister, when I go into my sophomore year of college I am getting a kitten. I want to get a Maine Coon kitten, if you don't know,  Maine Coons are BIG cats and are also very hairy. So when I get what I hope to be a brown male Maine Coon, I will name him Barry Gibb and get him a kitten white leisure suit. Yes, I know that I'm weird.

              Things:
                 I'm a cat person. I love sweaters and wearing sweatpants. I am a swimmer and I love/hate it. I have no confidence in my writing and I am scared to make a YouTube video even though I really want to. That's it. Thanks. Goodbye. Goodnight. Smell a puppy, buy a sweater.