Hello Again

Hi, it's been a long while, hasn't it? I don't know why I haven't written. Maybe I haven't written because I felt embarrassed by some of the things I posted. Or maybe, it was because I got scared of judgment. And even possibly it could be that I just got lazy. It's really probably a combination of those three things and all that laziness and embarrassment and fear just got bigger and bigger and I couldn't write. Then, this new year, I remember why I started this blog in the first place; I didn't do it to be witty or to make a statement. I started this blog to improve my writing, so, I'm really going to try to do that. In addition to this I'm going to start actually using my YouTube channel. If you want to check it out my username is: mariaissomagical but you can probably just search "Maria Guido" and you'll probably find it. Right now it's fairly sparse only having a video of my choir and my introduction video for my friends from NSLC.

Speaking of NSLC, let's catch you up on what's happened in my life. I got really sick, all sorts of problems (back, head, nervous system, mind, etc.), I got broken up with (it’s just high school so is that even pertinent?), I made myself several deals and now I'm following through on them. However, before all of this, I went to the National Student Leadership Conference in Theater in New York City. I met some of the most amazing and wonderful people there and there will be a post all about them in the near future. This is all for now, so here, I wrote this thing for you. I hope you like it.

-Maria

People

      I hate people. People are literally the most annoying thing to me however, I like to please people. I get satisfaction from the feeling that I have some sort of power of their emotions, it's nice to feel like I can control an aspect of other people's lives. However, I hate letting other people have that similar power over me, people don't make me happy, I make my own happiness so suck that comedians: your funny isn't enough funny.
       But now here's something different: I'm pretty smart. You couldn't tell, right? I use the occasional big word and sometimes I try in class. I could try but I hate it so much, not English or Choir, or theatre but math and science just don't click so I don't try. Okay, this was an enough of a small rant. Bye!

Let's Talk

              Acting has never been and will never be about recognition. I don't want to be famous. I never want to be famous. I just want to be on stage because I love it. I don't love it for the attention, I love it because I don't have to be me. I love not being me it's my favorite thing in the entire world. I love me, don't get me wrong but not being myself is really nice. I get to step out of my body and see the world from a different perspective.
               I don't care how much money I make (if any) and I don't care how I live. I just want to be doing what I love. I don't understand why there's drama. I have no self-confidence: I don't think I have talent, but I know that I love what I'm doing. That's pretty much it. Goodnight.

My Rules To Relationships

1. Do not make out in stores, it's weird and gross.
2. PDA is nasty. Don't do it.
3. Don't be clingy!
4. If it is illegal don't do it.
5. Life is not a romantic comedy; don't kiss people in the rain: you'll get a cold.
6. You don't love somebody after a week, calm down.
7. Wait, Jesus, you'll still be fertile in 10 years.
8. If it's over it isn't the end of the world.
9. You don't love somebody after a month.
10. You are not god damn Romeo and Juliet, if your parents don't like him/ her it's okay.

Perfection

             I refuse to believe that I am not perfect. This is mostly due to the fact I believe that perfection is whatever you choose it to be. And if this is so, why the hell wouldn't I be perfect?! Sure, there are lots of things I would change about myself: my man voice, my height, my looks, and my intelligence. Isn't that what makes us human though? Imperfection makes perfection. (A paradox Ms. Hammons would be proud of.)
             I used to try to make myself seem more Italian then I am. Truth is I'm 2/3 Prussian and 1/3 Italian and anyway my family is more like "The Olive Garden Italian." These people are those Italians. So, you're welcome for that. As I've been in high school I've realized that I don't care what people what people have to say to me or think about me. I am my own person and I don't need someone who isn't my parents or my siblings trying to run my life. Give me a cat and and warm sweater and I'll be a happy camper.
            So, back to perfection, I believe that if people are willing to admit it to themselves they will see their own perfection. They will see what I see in myself: a person who knows what they've been through, knows what they want from their life and is pretty good with who they are. So yes, I am perfect. I challenge you to say why you're perfect because if you say you are, you are. So goodnight. My cat and I are going to chill and have some Silk Dark Chocolate Almond Milk (my favorite drink excluding Diet Coke). Bye now.

NaNoWriMo

               Even with swim season I'm going to attempt NaNoWriMo this year. I've been trying to do it  for the past two years but nothing has come of it. So here's a blog post about all of my dumb ideas that don't work, won't work, and make me cry at night.

- Buffy like drama but only she can see the monsters
-Girl falls in love with best friend, he goes into coma blah blah blah.
-short stories about a girl while she's drowning
-short stories about a musician gaining YouTube fame.
-two people falling in love but they fall in love in a cross-roading fashion

           Maybe one of these will work this year. Maybe it'll be okay, here's hoping. Sorry that this was short but I needed to talk about it with someone who wouldn't interject their ideas.

My Future Plan and How to Get One like It.

     I plan to live alone--or with a gay roomate preferably named Stefahn: do you know one? In my lonely apartment my cat, Barry Gibb, and I will have peace and quite because I will refuse to have parties or even small get togethers. Let it be known, however, that I am, in fact, a people person. I do not like people but when they are around I thrive. People are all that keep me from talking to myself in quite tones with varied inflection pretending to be different people. If Stefahn and I lived together I'm sure there'd be drunken parties and strange gay boys crying to me about their boy problems while I lament on mine as well every night. How would I get in my night-time car cries with people in my tiny apartment?!
      I also intend on not getting married. Men take effort and that's something that I will not be willing to put forth during my mad audition phase and my whinney I didn't get in phase. I'll leave the boys for Stefahn, maybe even for Barry Gibb: who am I to judge my cat's preferences? I know I will not make much money but the intention is for there to be enough for BeeGee and I to get along. I look forward to many weeks of Ramen noodles in my future, it's good that I love them. If I ever leave the apartment I'm sure it'll be to take Mr. BeeGee to the vet or myself to the ER. I know it's silly to see such a bleak future but I don't want to be that person who sees everything as shiny kittens and rainbow riding Celine Dion look-a-likes and then have all my hopes dashed. I prefer to see NYC as the cold place it will be, I'll be happy either way. Okay, so maybe if I met the real Celine it'd be better. Oh well, my heart will go on.